The Powerball - all $1.3 billion of this week's jackpot - is evil.
Lotteries prey on the poor and the elderly. They're rigged, hyped and glorified. The winners almost always end up as losers.
But I bought four tickets over the weekend. I'm weak. So let the dreaming begin:
The Lego Death Star? Done, boys. I'll even throw in the Millennium Falcon.
A Ford F-150 crew cab truck with a hardtop bed cover? Done, husband. How about we lift that baby and throw some 42-inchers on it, too?
See, our household's Powerball fantasies are pretty modest.
We'd keep our jobs, pay off the mortgage and the minivan, and be conservative about the next steps, such as establishing a foundation to cure childhood cancer or creating the most comprehensive shelter and job-training program for homeless residents any city has ever seen.
So we should totally win.