Alexandra Petri

09/26/2016 - 1:00pm

    With a big debate coming up on Monday, there has been a lot of talk about how to moderate the discussion. Fortunately, Donald Trump's team has prepared the following list of suggestions so that the debate will be as Fair and Unbiased as possible.

    1) Be a moderator, not a fact-checker. One of...

07/23/2016 - 12:00am

    Cleveland -- The marriage of Donald Trump and Indiana Gov. Mike Pence is not off to a great start.

    Donald Trump introduced Pence as his running mate as if it were a painful duty, in a series of long...

07/14/2016 - 4:00pm

    Donald Trump seems to be having some trouble with stars lately, if this recent tweet is any indication: Dishonest media is trying their absolute best to depict a star in a tweet as the Star of David rather than a Sheriff's Star, or plain star!

07/13/2016 - 2:00pm

    Some people on the Internet seem to be confused. "In the aftermath of twelve people being tragically shot for no reason in Dallas," they wonder, "how will Black Lives Matter be able to continue being upset about people getting tragically shot for no...

07/05/2016 - 9:00am

            Ah, the veepstakes, that time-honored tradition. Not to be confused with Trump Steaks. Trump Steaks are a form of bull with a fancy label; veepstakes are the process whereby you designate someone else to put a fancy label on your bull.


07/04/2016 - 10:00am

            The internet is in mourning.

            The Toast, beloved source of all things that are good, shuttered July 1.


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